The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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