If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
