it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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