We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
