whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
