He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
