And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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