Say something about gay babies.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
