and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
