easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
