So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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