I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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