I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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