ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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