I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
