did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
