I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize