Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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