what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
