dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize