Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
