it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
