I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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