she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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