wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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