just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
