Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
