he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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