so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize