I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
