If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
