I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
