I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
