we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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