You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
