Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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