he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm at about main and main street
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
