I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
