do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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