But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
