I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
