True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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