bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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