What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
