you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
