my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
