Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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