Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she peed on how many people?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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