just come out here and I will go home with you...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
