When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
