I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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