I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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