just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
