Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize