I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize