Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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