I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
