yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
