Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
this will be a night to untag.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
