Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize