I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
