if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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