We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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