why didn't you poke me back
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
