i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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