Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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