They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
