Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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