I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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